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I went into this first Spring long weekend feeling depressed. I thought, Life Sucks. The boys were in an all weekend ice hockey tournament and most of their game times ran in the evenings as well as the daytime. It was a weekend that should have been spent in the garden, with friends and enjoying life outdoors.

It made matters worse as I waited for the boys to get ready for their first game on Friday night that I could hear the glorious sounds of my neighbors welcoming friends, pouring wine and firing up their bbqs. I felt sick with envy.

Eventually, I was forced to grab my down coat, gloves and scarf and pile into the car to head to the rink. I experienced three more nights like this on this long weekend while my friends and neighbors entertained people and enjoyed the beauty of Spring but I also experienced some real pleasure and joy of my own.

I decided that rather than be miserable (and freezing) I would balance my weekend with my own needs, taking care of the family and enjoying the boys’ hockey games.

For starters, I took my book to the rink. There is always a period of 45 minutes to an hour to wait until each game, so I sat in the car, read my book in peace and quiet. It was lovely. How often do I get an uninterrupted hour to myself?

Second, I decided to not go to every game. More or less, I went to every second game which meant I could get my exercise in, my gardening and my meal preparation for when they came home hungry and tired. I went to yoga, rode my bike, took a golf lesson. I felt strong and calm when  they came home and happy to take care of them and feed them nourishing meals.

Third, I realized the games were very exciting, my stepsons were stars and I met and enjoyed some very interesting parents. I couldn’t help but feel I was part of something communal and fun with all these families. And there is something very bonding about being at the rink at 10 pm with a bunch of tired parents and spent kids. It didn’t hurt that we won the Cup and everyone felt like champions.

And last, I actually enjoyed the break from drinking wine and eating to excess on the weekend. Meals were on the fly, socializing was in the bleachers and  wine was not an option. I liked the break.

Here is the lesson: prioritize yourself. I used to feel I had to go to every game and had to prepare all the meals and manage all the clean up. That just led to resentment (and envying the neighbors). Then I’d feel guilty about not going to all the games and guilty about not making all the meals. This weekend, I did what I wanted. My priorities were exercise, gardening, cooking and watching the boys. Once I  got my exercise done and my planting, I felt great about cooking and watching the boys.

Once I got my exercise done and my gardening, it freed me up to enjoy cooking, feeding and being part of their sporting event. I’ve said it twice. Get it? Prioritize Yourself.

And now, it is all over. We won the Cup. I was there for the final game, I met some great people and had a great weekend. My husband is cooking the Victory dinner as we speak.  Life is good. 

I’m not sure why it has taken me so long to figure out this balance, but I am grateful that this weekend anyway, I was successful.

How do you figure out your balance?

May 24th, 2010 | Prioritize Yourself | 4 Comments »